


HAMMER DOWN

by sailingonstardust



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Multi, PLEASE DONT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY IM BEGGING YOU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 21:04:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10474389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sailingonstardust/pseuds/sailingonstardust
Summary: Reinhardt and Genji have a fun time on the cliffs of Gibraltar, but what happens when others walk in on the hammer smashing the dragon? (slight reference to Fück më härdër Jäck by slywining, the work that changed our lives)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Twisted, from me and Megan. We hateyou.

Genji sat meditating on the cliffs of Watchpoint: Gibraltar, trying and failing to get the memory of his brother repeatedly shouting "SAKE" at the red team out of his head. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Hanzo's damn petite ankles in his mind; it was distressing to say the least. 

 

As he tried not to cry over his brother's stupidity, Genji heard heavy footsteps that could only belong to Reinhardt Wilhelm, or Ridehard, as Soldier 76 liked to call him. Not that Genji enjoyed thinking of his gentle giant unleashing 100% German power on the bleached sack of flour. 

 

"AH, HALLO MEIN LIEBLING!" Reinhardt boomed and bent to sit down next to the small cyborg. 

 

"Yo." Genji replied flatly.

 

"WHAT TROUBLES YOU ON THIS FINE DAY?"

 

Genji sighed. "It's my idiot brother. He stuck me in a wood chipper for bringing dishonor to our family, but now he unleashes his spirit dragons into the ground in the middle of a competitive match."

 

"I KNOW HOW TO CHEER YOU UP. SHALL I PUT THE HAMMER DOWN?"

 

Genji's vents let out a puff of steam and he immediately climbed up into Reinhardt's lap. "Grind my gears, make me steam." 

 

Reinhardt grabbed his metal hammer from beside himself and licked it Miley Cyrus style. Genji sighed, but then Reinhardt put it down, winked, unzipped his pants, and grabbed his bigger hammer. 

 

"IS THAT A KATANA BETWEEN YOUR LEGS OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME, GENJI?"

 

Genji proceeded to pull his katana out from under himself and set it aside next to Reinhardt's metal hammer. 

 

"OH." Reinhardt faltered. Genji, however, simply slid back his dick patch and let out his micro penis which Reinhardt had taken to calling Little Genji. 

 

The green cyborg ninja mounted The Big Hammer™ and let out a cry of “ **Ryujin no ken wo kurae.** ” They did the sex. Genji’s micro penis flapped as Reinhardt hammered him. “This is most enjoyable. You make my warrior spirit burn” Genji said. 

 

“WHEN ALL YOU HAVE IS A HAMMER, EVERYONE ELSE IS A NAIL.” Reinhardt squawked. 

 

Suddenly, Genji noticed movement out of the corner of his eye and saw McCree fire peacekeeper into the air three times before hollering “What in fraternization?!” 

 

Reinhardt turned and shrieked in alarm. “I AM NOT EVEN _ CLOSE  _ TO DONE!” He yelled, and McCree looked like he was going to throw up on the snake in his boot. 

 

Genji began to think that it wasn’t so bad that McCree walked in on Reinhardt slaying his dragon, but then he heard more footfall from around the corner. All three men turned to see Soldier 76 and Torbjorn walk up, hand in claw, holding a single packet of barbeque sauce between them. There clothes were disheveled and nearly off entirely. 

 

Genji, Reinhardt, and McCree looked on disgusted, but Torbjorn simply torbled “Wh ä t? T öö hot f ö r y ö u?” He then turned his single eye on Genji and torbled “It's  ä lw ä ys b ë tter t ö b ë th ë h ä mm ë r th ä n th ë n ä il.”

 

“AH, MY DIMINUTIVE FRIEND. THAT IS WHY WE COULD NEVER HAVE WORKED.” Reinhardt yelled. McCree looked like he was about to cry. 

 

“I dön’t likë äll this ständing aröund whën thërë’s wörk tö bë döne.” Torbjorn torbled and pinched Soldier’s nonexistent ass between his metal claw. Soldier grinned and nodded in agreement.

 

All the while Genji sat regretfully atop Reinhardt’s hammer, still unable to stop thinking about Hanzo’s horrible habit of skipping leg day. 

 

Genji looked on as McCree drawled “Well, it’s high noon somewhere in the world.” before flinging himself off of the cliff. 

  
The four remaining men did not wait to see if he was okay. Instead, there was only the following roar from Reinhardt: “CAN WE USE SOME OF THAT BARBEQUE SAUCE?”


End file.
